It was all very odd. Sophia Luu was there, Lian was there…and I’m not sure who else. It was some kind of school event or something. I was there. We had to go down a set of stairs. It was really crowded. It was sort of outside, kind of like the 6 train at the municipal building. There was something about me being in the Navy. Like a Navy reserve and I was really tough and some guys were really impressed. Either way…
We were going down the stairs and I see D-’s braided head (even though I know he cut his hair off already). I do my “I don’t see him” thing because why would I give him that satisfaction? Was I trying to look like I didn’t or was I trying to look like I am pretending to not see him? I’m not sure. I think the desired effect is a cross between the two because it makes him wonder therefore he’ll think about me and also because I’m not sure which effect I want myself. The glance happened twice. He was with HER, J-. She, of course, ignores me. I don’t care. He sees me the first time but I look away. The second time he makes the effort to say hi. I go over to him and he gives me a hug and kisses me on the lips with a little flick of the tongue. I am aware that Lian is there and she finally sees who D- is. Aware that other people are watching and we are in a massive crowd, and especially aware that SHE’s there, I kiss him back but I make sure it’s a deep kiss. We make small talk I think. As a sort of I forgive you, I tell him an early happy birthday. He tells me “Yea, it was on the 29th” and I thought he was testing me because I know it’s on the 25th that has not come yet. He didn’t look like he was testing me so I let it go. We get to the end of where we were supposed to be and apparently it was a basketball game. He tells me “It’s just you. There’s no one else. I promise. It’s just you and me.” He kisses my hand goodbye and I lick his finger and he does a double take and smiles. I don’t think I actually see his face at any point after the initial hello. Was this just the nature of dreams or was it more that once I stopped caring about what people were saying and it was just the two of us that I was concerned with it became more about what we were doing and feeling. We don’t want to let each other go. Our fingers are locked. I think there was hope of something that made the moment longer. He told me he’s playing and that I should get good seats. SHE was already looking for one and I look at the line in front of me and I see that it’s not that long so I’m not even going to worry about fighting for seats with HER. I kiss him goodbye and I go back with my friends. I wake up disappointed.
